Facing the Unknown

Fear.  It’s powerful.  When people are faced with a possible super commute, that’s who usually shows up first…Fear.  I was just talking with someone today who may have to make the decision whether to super commute temporarily or uproot her family immediately and the first thing she shared was all of the things she was worried about.  Being away from her kids, missing her friends, and then Fear’s companion joined the conversation…Negative What If?  What if I hate the job?  What if my family moves too and the kids don’t do well?  What if I make the wrong choice?

When sitting with clients and Fear and Negative What If come into the room, I counter with Positive What If.  What if you really like the job?  What if the financial benefits allow your husband to work less and spend more time with the kids?  What if it actually goes well?  And here is the one that really gets the conversation going:

What if one of the fears were to happen?

For example, what if you do hate the job? Yes, that would be unfortunate and it might mean taking awhile to get another, but what kind of skills did you gain?  A positive aspect: You modeled for your kids taking a well-informed risk and not having it work perfectly, but being OK.

In today’s economy, career decisions can be complex.  With a super commute it can be that much more so, but when a couple sits down and really does an honest “pro’s and con’s” list and shares their fears and makes a plan B or plan C to the best of their ability, it can push the fear away enough to allow for the potential benefits to have a place in the conversation too.  One of my three mottos I share with clients and audiences is:You can always change your mind.  It may not be quick or the easiest option but very few things are truly permanent.  Gather information.  Speak honestly.  And get ready for the next adventure.

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One Response to Facing the Unknown

  1. Pingback: Can Marriage Survive Extreme Commuting, Travel | Wanderschool

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